Dealing with the “demons”

Lately I haven’t been writing much, mainly because I didn’t have much inspiration to write. Also been busy going out and about lately….. Life without 9-to-5 routine is good and bad. Good that I have more “free” time to do anything I’d like. Bad because there is a lack of structure in my days…. but the worst is there is a strong nudge from within to get a job – or let me correct – an income for my survival!

Because of this urge to get a job, I’m faced with my “demons”. I am calling them demons because they’re destructive. They are the noises in my head that tell me I’m not good enough, that I may not be able to achieve what I wanted, or people won’t hire me, etc. you name it! These noises pull down my confidence, and as a result, I have fear in me – mainly fear of failure. But all these are noises and feeling. They are not the “real” me. They are there because it’s normal to have thoughts and doubts. It’s part of being human to have all these doubt, emotions, and thoughts. I decided to befriend and welcome them. I don’t want to push them away, and just simply let them be what they are.

Once the “me” being taken away from the equation of the process of thinking and feeling, I feel more at peace. Fear is just fear. It comes and goes. It may affect me a little bit (or even maybe more than a bit) for a while, but I’d keep reminding myself that this is just another phenomenon in life. There is nothing magical or special about it. It’s just like this.

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