Have you ever missed someone so badly? I do. I always miss people I love. I guess since young I always miss people~~ I always miss my parents. I lived away from my parents since I was 10 years old. I couldn’t help but feeling lonely although I lived with many relos. It was ironic, I mean I also lived with my brothers, yet I felt alone. Luckily, I didn’t let the loneliness rule my life. I did feel lonely, yet I still could be happy. Why not? The feeling came and go. There were times when I was so happy, but also there were times when I felt sad, and sometimes felt alone. But it’s just feeling, as feeling is impermanent – it comes and goes.
It is a valuable lesson I learnt. The impermanence of feelings. I also see that feelings are conditioned. And since it is conditioned, it is impermanent. When you see feelings like this, you won’t be caught up in it~~ you can just see it comes and let it come, then when it goes, just let it go~~~
Last night, when I was home alone, the feeling came to me again. I’m very familiar with this feeling: feeling of missing someone. Yes~~ it is my friend. I missed my parents so badly. Maybe because I saw the bed sheet that I washed yesterday. The bed sheet reminded me of my mom. We both went to a shop to make the bed sheet. Remembering that moment made me want to cry… I mean, I wanted to be with my mom yet I can’t.
I now understand why I can be so touched with affections. It is because since young I yearned for it. I’ve missed affections since little. It was because I lived far away from my parents~ and yet if I lived with my parents I think I wouldn’t get as much affections I wanted since my parents were so busy with working. When I looked at the relationships of my girl friends with their parents, I sometimes felt envious. I mean, I wanted that too but I knew it’s impossible considering my family culture. There was a time when I was strolling around, I thought ‘Well my mom is a woman too. A woman I think yearns for affections. So, maybe my mom wants the same thing too!’ So yeah, since I never tried to be that affectionate to my mom, why shouldn’t I try first? But it won’t be that easy though~~ I mean, I’m way taller than my mom… so it’s hard for me to hold her arm while we’re walking. But I can show other affections for sure 
Yeah~~ even though my parents and I are miles apart, but we are close at heart. I love you Mom and Dad. Wish you well and happy 
